how to start journaling
journaling as thinking, not as writing (+ some of my journal entries from the past year)
When I first made the decision that this would be my return post after my extended (very extended) absence from this newsletter, I thought I’d frame it in a “hey, I wasn’t online but I was still writing!” sort of way. But that’s not really the message I want to attach to my journaling advice because, to be honest, I don’t really see journaling as writing anymore.
I just finished a writing-heavy degree, and I’ve been editing a novel for the past several months. Both have been exhausting. Writing, in that context, means making my thoughts coherent and structured. It means reshaping my language into something that makes sense to someone who exists outside of me. Journaling isn’t that.
If writing is the act of making thinking presentable, journaling is the act of thinking in process.
My thoughts are messy, and my observations may sound “pretty” at first but once I step away and really look at them, they very rarely make any sense. My handwriting is atrocious. I swear like a sailor with no home-training. And, because I’m writing everything down in pen, in a book I don’t (initially) intend to share with anyone, I make no moves to edit myself. There’s no word count requirement, no citations, no need to offer up context. My journal isn’t a creative project or an academic product. Simply put… my journal is a fucking mess. I normally embrace that fact from the onset by decorating the cover with loud stickers and photographs that some would argue are far from “aesthetically pleasing.”
A couple months ago, I finished a journal—which is surprisingly rare for me despite me doing this practice for a couple of years now—and I got so excited about it that I started telling everyone who would bother to listen to me. Pretty quickly, the questions came: How did you keep it up? What advice would you give to someone trying to start? How do you know what to write about?
Truth is, I don’t really have any advice to give so the title of this post is a form of major clickbait. Sorry about that. But, I’m afraid I just can’t teach you how to think. I can, however, give you advice on how to let yourself think on paper: You get a pen. You get a notebook. You get over yourself, and pray that your hand can keep up with where your mind is taking it.
I guess my first post back is, admittedly, pretty self-indulgent. This is less about me giving you journaling advice and more of a (belated) personal celebration of something I’ve never managed before: finishing a journal cover to cover without being lured away by the temptation of a fresh new notebook (and Lord knows I own too many of those).
To really illustrate what I mean when I say you can journal about literally anything that is on your mind, I thought it would be fun to include the opening sentences of a few entries I’ve written up over the past year—complete with dates, times, and entry lengths to show you how chaotic and unstructured this practice can be. How chaotic and unstructured this practice should be. Sometimes you’ll write something insightful, other times you’ll write about your current favourite food. But either way, it’ll always be fun to look back on.
Wednesday 14, May 2025
07:58AM
2 page entry
I am writing this journal entry with a rather nice pen that I stole from the waiter at the “American” food bar we went to on Saturday. I tipped him pretty well so, technically, I bought the pen. This thought makes me feel better about myself.
Saturday 19, April 2025
02:39PM
½ page entry
Submitted a poem to a poetry competiton not even ten minutes ago. I feel good. I feel great about it, not even particularly because I think that I’ll win the competiton but moreso because it feels good to [ILLEGIBLE] and work on my relationship with my own craft. If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound? If a poet only ever writes for themselves, are they still a poet? Girl… shut up omg. You’re not a tree.
Sunday 2, March 2025
04:46PM
(this is the only thing I wrote that day)
Another month looms… it never stops, huh? I guess that’s a blessing in and of itself. Right? Because if it stops that means that life is stagnant or it could mean that you’re, well, fucking dead and I guess I don’t want that.
Sunday 9, February 2025
09:31PM
3 page entry
I’ve gotten very, very, very good at telling the difference between Diet Pepsi and full fat(?) Pepsi. That can’t be a good sign.
Thursday 9, January 2025
08:05AM
2 ½ page entry
Quite terrified of poetry. It’s an art form that I’ve always wanted to crack into, whether it be through reading the genre or writing it for myself. I’m scared that it won’t only be cringy but that it will also be hard for people to understand what I’m trying to get at. I’m scared of poetry. I’m petrified of being misunderstood.
Tuesday 31, December 2024
06:41AM
1 page entry
Nothing really brings you back to the body like hunger does. You’re this thing—a soul, maybe?—floating above and outside of yourself until you’re hungry and reminded that this is also you, this fleshy sack that you have to fill, to feed, to continuously fuel. Fuck! I need to go grocery shopping. There are no more eggs in the fridge.
Friday 8, November 2024
09:49PM
1 ½ page entry
I’m trying to become a beast with many functioning heads, many functioning mouths. I want to eat the world. I want to dig my teeth into all my differing interests. I always mention that as I’ve gotten older I’ve gotten worse at multi-tasking but I don’t think that’s really true. I say I’ve gotten “busier” when really I’ve gotten shitter at planning my day.
Monday 28, October 2024
08:23PM
2 ½ page entry
It’s so very disconcerting when someone views you differently from the way you view yourself. How do you reconcile the two when one view is negative and one view is positive and vice versa, vice versa, vice versa?
Saturday 21, September 2024
10:38AM
1 page entry
I always get these bursts of intense productivity and I always feel so very good and proud of myself after I do. Just deep cleaned my bedroom, for example. Well… kind of deep cleaned. Shallow cleaned? My clothes aren’t on the floor anymore. That’s what I'‘m getting at.
Friday 16, August 2024
05:41PM
½ page entry
I attended the international student lunch today and, wow, talking about my future always makes me so fucking anxious. ”Where would you like to be in ten years?” “Where would you like to be in five years?” “Where would you like to be by the end of the week?” Jesus. JESUS! ENOOOOOOOOOOOUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sunday 28, July 2024
10:35AM
2 page entry
It has been a hot minute since I last wrote in this journal but, honestly, I’m not mad at myself for the major delay. I’m not mad at myself at all. I lived a lot of life in the month of July and that’s the poetic, heartwarming way of saying, well, I spent a whole lot of fucking money this past month. I’m scared to look at my bank account.
Monday 10, June 2024
01:11PM
4 page entry
I have my student visa appointment tomorrow and, I won’t lie, I’m a little nervous. Maybe scared is more accurate. I’m actually shitting myself but I’m also doing that thing where I’m asking myself why I’m imagining the worst when I can use that exact same amount of energy to imagine the best. Stupid brain. Stupid, stupid anxieties.
Saturday 18, May 2024
06:55PM
2 ½ page entry
There are squirrels chasing each other around the trunk of the tree directly opposite me, and isn’t that what life means, what it means to be not just in the world but of the world, to not just exist alone but to live amongst other living things? I need to divorce myself from my bed, from my constant isolation. That relationship isn’t serving me anymore.
It’s good to be back!
"If writing is the act of making thinking presentable, journaling is the act of thinking in process." that's such an excellent way of putting it wow...
"Girl...shut up omg you're not a tree" this killed me so I'm highlighting it but as always it's so good to just get a look into your thoughts and your perspectives, thanks so much for letting us in!!
Any post about journaling, I am sat! I’ve been journaling since I was about 7 or 8 years old and always love getting a glimpse into other people’s journals and journaling habits. Your entries are both hilarious and relatable. I love what you said about how messy and unstructured journaling should be. Before, I used to struggle with being as vulnerable as I wanted to because I feared that someone would pick up my journal and read (it happened when I was younger) but letting all the pressure go and allowing yourself to be as messy as you need to be is when you start to really enjoy journaling.